Adventures in Transit

Since the theft of my automobile I have been forced to endure the treachery of public transit. This can, at times, be quite entertaining. I highly recommend it to those of you who have not ridden the likes of a bus in a while.

While you are sitting conveniently in your automobile listening to music, cursing the other drivers or putting on your mascara there is a whole world outside that exists. You see things that you would never see while in your car and meet a interesting array of people.

Waiting for your transportation can be exciting as well. Where else besides the corner strip club can one hear a beligerant man yell about how all he wants is pussy? The max station provides this and more. You can be spiritually assaulted by overzealous religious freaks as well. I never knew how much God and Jesus love me until I started taking public transit.

I also was unaware that if you can call the police to have them assist you in breaking into someone else's property to take back what you claim is yours. I learned this from overhearing a tweeked out woman talking way too loud on her cell phone. She may want to know exactly where the bus she is on is going before she makes her next 911 call. She wanted the police to meet her in Vancouver but was on the bus headed towards Gresham.

The rides are not always exciting. You can usually count on the aroma of urine and if you stay long enough something is bound to happen. For two dollars you can't find better entertainment. Hold on tight to your possesions though. You can't trust anyone!

trash bags required

I was driving down MLK Jr. Blvd this morning at 4am. I needed some Starbucks before my drive out to Spirit Mountain Casino. I go to pull into the drive thru and am blocked by what looks like a bunch of homeless people wearing trash bags. There are tents all over the sidewalks. The first thought that goes through my mind is that the homeless of Portland are staging some sort of protest. Let me remind you it is 4am and I have not yet had my latte. Then I notice a lighting truck and decide that it is Hollywood filming again. I get through and head towards the ordering screen when a group of teenagers informs me that Starbucks does not open until 5am. So I proceed through the drive thru only to be blocked in by three police cars. The police are talking to a group of people sitting in camping chairs. It is at this point that I come to the realization that these idiots are camped out for the Rose Festival Parade!

Did the City of Portland even consider that people would camp in tents for the parade before they decided it was unlawful for them to tape off their spots?

But even more ridiculous are the people that actually pack up the kids to spend a Friday night sleeping in a tent on one of the most busy and unsavory streets in Portland! Did they consider that they may be killed in their sleep by a drunk driver? Or some junkie might decide to go in their tent and rob them?

I don't know if these people are aware that only a few months ago two young adults were hit by a drunk driver at The Dunes Nightclub and pinned under the vehicle. I personally witnessed this incident. It was a Friday night. I was driving my cab and saw a young couple pinned under a volvo station wagon. I thought they were dead. It was extremely morbid! Luckily or maybe unluckily they were not dead. The female had to have her leg amputated. She may think that she would have been better off dead?

I am not trying to rain on anyones parade...I don't have to. Mother Nature all ready did!

Rabies and Rats

Why does the conversation always end up about rats? Because I love them. I love cats and I don't talk about them all of the time. I am obsessed with them. I ran over a squirrel today. Was it dead? I ran it over, of course it was dead. If you run over an animal while I am in this cab you will have to take me to the hospital! What if there is a possum that is half dead, lying in the road with it's guts hanging out and I run over it to put it out of it's misery? I will kill you if you kill an animal! You can save it! It is a possum. Who is going to save it? They have places! The vet won't save it. A wild life refuge will! They have those! They won't save it. Don't you eat meat?