Adventures in Transit

Since the theft of my automobile I have been forced to endure the treachery of public transit. This can, at times, be quite entertaining. I highly recommend it to those of you who have not ridden the likes of a bus in a while.

While you are sitting conveniently in your automobile listening to music, cursing the other drivers or putting on your mascara there is a whole world outside that exists. You see things that you would never see while in your car and meet a interesting array of people.

Waiting for your transportation can be exciting as well. Where else besides the corner strip club can one hear a beligerant man yell about how all he wants is pussy? The max station provides this and more. You can be spiritually assaulted by overzealous religious freaks as well. I never knew how much God and Jesus love me until I started taking public transit.

I also was unaware that if you can call the police to have them assist you in breaking into someone else's property to take back what you claim is yours. I learned this from overhearing a tweeked out woman talking way too loud on her cell phone. She may want to know exactly where the bus she is on is going before she makes her next 911 call. She wanted the police to meet her in Vancouver but was on the bus headed towards Gresham.

The rides are not always exciting. You can usually count on the aroma of urine and if you stay long enough something is bound to happen. For two dollars you can't find better entertainment. Hold on tight to your possesions though. You can't trust anyone!